At the end of it all…

I guess nobody’s perfect. Perfection is something rarely seen but we strive for it. It is a feeling of accomplishment and pride that tops all other feelings and when we reach that euphoric state of mind we often realize that the effects of said success is short lived.

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We live from one moment to the next, each time we push ourselves a little further, a little harder to feel again.

That is what it comes down to, how to feel and how to feel with purpose.

I guess, nobody’s perfect and that is why feeling at times is the hardest thing of all. I’m not talking about simple feelings, I’m talking about the complex recipe that winds us into a ball of emotion, good or bad.

Feelings and talking about feelings should always be important because in silence lies an enemy called the unspoken word, and soon if left to your own demise you may find yourself tangled up in a mess of confusion and uncertainty…much like this post really.

Nobody is perfect but we each determine our own level of perfection.

Get it? Good!

Cheerio

JR

 

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The show must go on…

Yup, it’s me and I’m still here.

No, I didn’t become an overnight success or win the lottery, sometimes a person just needs to press that reset button and take some time to do whatever it is you need to do. After all, in the end, the internet is going nowhere, my blog is going nowhere and truth be told it would probably be me who ends up going somewhere if I don’t take care of the important stuff first which is myself.

So now that the seasonal change is over and I’ve shredded my summer skin for the vibrations that is winter here in South Africa I can get back to some sort of normality and start putting the pieces of my work life back together.

As much as chaos was my company the past few weeks, for now, he has moved on, and I wait till he returns again unannounced and without warning. He never comes alone, he brings plenty of friends along with him like anxiety, fears and certain perceptions formed on nothing but a whisper. I am never ready for his visits, it’s not a test I can prepare for or something I can practice. If you lost me at this point it is fine, we don’t need to always understand everything for it to make sense.

I have lots to keep myself busy with during this rebuilding phase as I always call it and that might mean a little less blogging and more writing to get done what I need to. Its a mystery even to me at this point where the road will take me.

So till I write again, thanks to those who asked concerning questions and if I did not answer you, accept my sincerest apology because when the boats a sinking there is no time for anything else but swimming.

You guys rock,

Cheerio,

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JR

Shadows on the walls

It takes two to tango, two to make and two to break. There is no in-between.  The last few weeks, months, years there has been some conflict within me, a battle I often did not fight silently and for someone, whose dealt with negativity before it never occurred to me until a few days ago what this negative shadow was doing to me and my life. We would dance often, taking the floor by storm as this shadow dragged me across the dancefloor throwing me from left to right, but a few days ago I realized our dance had to end. Something that was once amusing to witness had become intrusive, intrusive and damaging by choice, my choice.

shadow 2

Just like a book tells a story a lot can be said about the way someone treats you, how they look at you and very often it’s not difficult to put one and two together and understand that no matter how hard you try to perfect the dance sometimes it is just not going to work and will never work. The hardest thing to accept I think is that sometimes we want things to work, we go out of our way to try and make them work and before we realize trying has turned to obsessing and no one is worth that. No person should ever have a place in your life that they do not deserve or hold more power over you than what they worth. There comes a time when its needed to realise you will never get the acceptance, you will never get the thank you or appreciation and that sometimes you will be used and that’s okay because to the shadow it’s a dance, a game that’s played from day to day and so far that game has not been lost but from now this dance of two is a dance for one.

Moral of this story as its seen…support those who support you. Give to those that give to you and when that look comes, the one that says how much you are hated, put it behind you and look away.

Put those who seeks to belittle your worth, your place, your kindness behind you. Watch them in your rearview mirror as you drive away and let the party go on without you. Let the shadow dance across the walls till it burns out and the light starts to fade…know then that you are done.

As long as you have done your best and given your best, that’s all that counts.

But for now friend or foe, I am letting you go. So it was written, let it be so,

Till again we speak,

JR

 

 

 

 

 

The unchosen path

It was a warm summers day, nature was alive and at its best this time of year. I was walking along my usual path that would lead me down the stream and towards the small waterfall by Oaks Bridge. I took this path daily cause it was the one I knew best and it was beautiful.

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As I walked along my usual route a butterfly caught my attention. Never in my life have I  seen such artistry on one tiny living creature. Its wings were blended with shades of yellow and orange, almost like a sunset, and then coming together in a final burst of red at the tips of its wings. I was fascinated, it stirred something deep inside of me, it made me happy, joyful and excited. I was so intrigued by the butterfly that I followed it, watching as it went from flower to flower spreading its wings to reveal its beauty and then slowly closing them. It felt like I was watching a magic show, each time as it moved along the greenery it amazed me. I followed it for so long that I did not even realize that I had wandered off of my usual path.

The butterfly had taken me on a journey deeper into the surrounding woods that I did not know.

At first, I wanted to head back. I was not sure whether I should continue down the path it had led me or turn back and return to the familiar, the path I was used to and knew the best. I started looking around and noticed the trees, where before I just saw a tree I realized I have never really paid much attention to their beauty or their age. It was like my eyes had opened. The wild mushrooms that grew from their mossy exterior made me think of fairies and how they could be watching me right now, hiding behind their tiny little houses. I laughed at my silly thought and walked further into the forest admiring the beauty of the trees and flowers, some I had never seen before. My fears had left me and all was well. It was then that I heard it, the familiar sound of falling water. I knew this because during my walks I would encounter my own source of water each day, a small waterfall nestled within the hill, but this, this sounded much larger than that. The closer I got to the source the louder the noise became and soon I could hear the loud thunder of falling water and right there I knew I had to see it.

Soon the path began to lead upwards, at times I stumbled as the ground became loose under my feet, ground mixed with stones of different shapes and sizes. I didn’t care that the rocks hurt my bare feet or that my dress was getting dirty, nature had drawn me in today and I had to see what it had in store for its grand finale.

A while later, after many struggles to get up the steep cliff I reached the top and there it was. A giant waterfall almost a thousand times the size of the one I normally visit. The journey was definitely worth it, I could not believe that I lived so close to this wonder yet I have never seen its power, how it crashes in a dense mist at the bottom and how it flows down from there with such power. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I took in the beauty of my surroundings, I felt grateful for ending up where I did that day, and that I would visit the place again tomorrow and the day after that, until something else grabs my attention, begging me to change direction and embark on a new journey, a new adventure. I knew that my usual path, although forever treasured, would never be the same again.

©JR Robberts 2017

 

It’s like riding a bike.

I feel like I’m being attacked by the press, being asked where I was, why the sudden silence and why my blog has come to a complete standstill? Let me silence the crowds once and for all lol, I am perfectly fine and programming should resume next week…

The funny thing is, I went through a patch of rough. Maybe you can identify with my feelings or maybe you have a good piece of advice to share or keep to yourself…just saying.

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Poets Pen: Standing Still

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When the time comes

And it will

You will find me

Standing still

In silence to kneel and pray

For the Lord to guide my way

And in my weakest moments

My strength in prayer will be

towards the light, I cannot see

And when the time comes

In faith, I know it will

You will find me

Standing still

Giving thanks to Him

The one who guides my way

And makes me new upon each day

To Him alone the thanks I will bring

not to the walls that call itself a name

or the man who sows the seeds of fame

And when the time comes

In Him alone, I know it will

You will find me there

Standing Still

©JR Robberts 2017

WE Update: The Journey of Secrets II

The direction was clear...

This has probably been the most complicated bunch of characters I have ever worked with but I am excited at their journey and where they are going, if only they felt the same…

If you missed any of my Journey of Secrets talk so far you can catch up here. With the release of the second book approaching it’s all hands on deck for the final push.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me thus far with this project.

A sign of things to come or things to be, you will have to wait and see…

Keep watch for some exciting news and pre-order details in the weeks to come.

That’s all folks

JR

 

 

Poets Pen: Alive

I breath

                            I live

I die

                                           I feel

I fall

             I cry

I am

                                                                     I was

I will

                                   Alive

                                my heart beats still.

©JR Robberts 2017

Poets Pen: Words by JR Robberts

Every word cuts

Not by the sword

But by the mouth

In ink, it is written

With tears and dismay

Words often unspoken

Just a memory away

Every sentence aches

Not from the flesh

But from the heart

In ink, it remains

Forever here to stay

The words of a poet

Only a blink away

©JR Robberts 2017